chickenhearted | the dreaded overflow

[ With no means to exploit that information, or any intent to, Mikazuki draws his fingertips in the water with the arm tucked around Waver. Replying the way he did, Mikazuki takes it to mean he's being slight self-deprecating, but he responds with a slow half-smile, just at the corners of his mouth. ]

Well, that's fine. Maybe I am too.

[ And maybe he doesn't have much by way of understanding when it comes to what's going through someone's mind at any given time, but as the silence drifts like the water — ]

Is there someone you miss?

Oh..

[ Waver's kind of in awe of that answer. Someone else, admitting they're strange? It doesn't happen very often, not around Waver, in any case. But he's kind of glad to hear it. It adds a closeness to.. whatever this is, like there's actually some kind of bond between them. It's a little intimidating, a little heartwrenching, but a little okay, too.

He glances down at the water for a moment, thinking of how to answer that question. Bond or no bond, how personal does he want to get? Yet maybe it's better to tell one person rather than suffering alone. He's done that for most of his life as it is. ]

Yeah. But I don't think there's any chance he'll wake up in one of those pods.

[ He's already technically dead, after all. ]

I have someone like that too.

[ Though there's something of an elusive expression on his face at saying so. It's not admitting it that's difficult, because if not for him being in one of those pods, he'd be lost forever. Dead because Mikazuki wasn't good enough to save him.

But it doesn't stop him from feeling like half of himself, anyway. ]

Why don't you think there's a chance?

You do...?

[ Well of course, Waver, it's not like you're the only one in the world who's got someone that's not in one of those pods for one reason or another. It's just... hearing it out loud, having someone who understands... well, he wasn't expecting that. No one ever seems to understand him, no matter what.

He's looking at Mikazuki, but then turns to look into the water again. His brow knits in thought and he shakes his head suddenly. ]

He's... he's already dead.

[ He'd have to be summoned to appear again, and what are the chances of that happening? The piece of his cloak was destroyed with everything else, at that. It's hopeless... ]

[ Mikazuki doesn't expect understanding from anyone, growing up and living like he did. In many ways, he doesn't even want it. But he knows when it's there all the same, when there's one too many similarities to just let slip by and into the moment. Maybe that's why his lips are a little looser than they usually are, too. ]

Did you look for him?

[ Waver considers that question, feels it burn deep in his chest. If he could, he'd look for Rider every single day, any moment he could spare. But he knows it's going to be fruitless. Or at least he's convinced it is. They don't bring people back from the past here, do they? He shouldn't get his hopes up or it will hurt more. ]

What's the use? I'll just be disappointed.

I thought so too. I even asked... when that woman wanted to know what I wanted.

[ In exchange for his compliance. In reality he needed very little convincing to live again. And one person. He swears he can feel that apprehensive burn in Waver as if it was his own. A trick of the water, or the closeness, or some mix of the two. Thoughtfully, his head tilts, damp skin bumping into that smooth crop of hair like a nudge. ]

He died too, but he was there.

Oh?

[ He listens carefully, knowing it was a question he'd asked that woman. But then he barely even feels that nudge against his hair as those next words hit his ears. It's like that weight on his heart suddenly got heavier and heavier, it's about to snap from its strings. He opens his mouth, but he can't even expel his breath for a moment. ]

He was there...? But... but how.

I wondered. But with the way things were, I didn't have anything to lose by asking for him.

[ The bravery to ask had never been a problem at least.

He'd been two days gone by the time Mikazuki had followed, the most miserable two days he'd ever endured. Having his body stripped away from him and his mind closed in on by a machine had paled in comparison to feeling that alone. Maybe that's why he doesn't question the way the water acclimated him to contact with another body, subconsciously holding Waver's slimmer frame to him. ]

One person [ selfishly ] was enough for me.

[ When he could have asked for anything for his compliance. ]

That's true...you wouldn't...

[ He feels a little guilty now that he hadn't been able to ask about Rider.

But maybe...just maybe. If this person's special someone was there even after death, what if Rider was too? He has to go look now. He has to know if it's possible that he could come back here. Granted the whole process may be different since Rider is a Heroic Spirit, but Waver can't quell the spark of hope he feels. He can't help but be a little excited, almost clinging to the other boy. He definitely doesn't feel like being alone right now. ]

One person. That would be enough for me, too.

[ He has the smallest of smiles, feeling, for perhaps the first time, a sort of bond with Mikazuki due to their similar feelings. ]

If that's the way it is, I'll look with you.

[ Alria's keep was large, the stasis units numbering as many as it took to save whole worlds' worth of people. Maybe it'd take time, but Mikazuki is still restless here, where everything was so... free. ]

You will? I...

[ He would need the help. He remembers how large that place was, not that Rider is difficult to miss or anything. It'd still be overwhelming.

He almost can't believe that Mikazuki is offering to look with him. That's a kindness Waver never sees. But he breathes out a sigh of relief, able to believe him somehow regardless of his anxieties. ]

Thank you. Yeah. Let's look together.

the dreaded overflow

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